Mental Load: My Coronavirus Thoughts

As a germaphobe, I thought I would be prepared for a pandemic. Going into the chaos of the Winter blues earlier this year to a full-blown pandemic has really been eye opening. I live with something called mysophobia. It’s essentially a fear of germs, like an extreme fear, while others may think my mental illness is silly or annoying, it’s something I battle with everyday and it is real. Some suffer from fibromyalgia, or a even a Hypersexuality, and while we take those things seriously, I feel like my fear of germs is often overlooked as just a weird quirk and a get over it mentality.

Before the world began falling apart, things were on the mend for me a little. I knew my phobia was linked to anxiety that resulted from London’s NICU stay and leading up on her first birthday (February 22, 2020) I was actually feeling more relaxed. It wasn’t that my mysophobia had suddenly been cured, rather that I was not so constantly anxious about germs since she made it a year without any illness. I was ready to get out of the house to see a therapist again to help me with these feelings too.

Then COVID-19 hit and now fast-forward to four months into a full-fledged pandemic. It is been hard, especially since it is Summer now and people do not care anymore, plus the slew of mixed information on the topic is confusing and not to mention misleading, and there is a lot of other important issues the world is facing and I get it. But, being a germaphobe in the midst of a viral outbreak is a gut wrenching experience. It is hard. However, my germ anxiety suddenly kinda feels validated, now everyone sees the germs I see everywhere. I do not need to hide the fact that I sanitize everything and anything possible before it comes into my house. Suddenly the fact that I shower and change after any encounters outside the house didn’t seem strange, nor does the annoying “wash your hands” I mutter to my husband when he comes home from work.

Germs are my mortal enemy and while I understand people want to get back to their normal lives, and the economy has taken a huge toll, it is a jarring idea that a influx of cases can be upon us and people don’t seem to care because they are simply put, over it. It is hard to feel like this and I don’t wish this upon anyone, but again, my anxiety is real and people around me pushing my limits is extremely rude. Even writing this down, I want to cry, mostly at the fact that no one has truly checked in on me, especially family and friends during the global health crisis, fully knowing that I have been freaking the f out. Sometimes we are selfish, and that is totally okay sometimes, but when it comes to someones mental health, we need to be accepting and sensitive. That is someones real life. Just like you wouldn’t like the idea of something saying your depression is a joke, my germ anxiety is not one either.

I hope everyone is staying safe, healthy and happy! We are all in this together, one world, one love. Let us heal together.

Virtual Target Run

It’s been since September 2019 that I have stepped into a Target store! Yeah, once my Target implemented Drive-Up, I never looked back because trying to get two kids rounded up and quiet so mama can shop was just not going to happen. Plus i’m a major germaphobe, so theres that. But now with the global Pandemic keeping everyone in-side, I kind of miss my gal pal Target and the thrill of finding new goodies in-store. While my wallet and husband are thankful, I have a major void to fill, so let’s go shopping…online of course!

I have been living for neutral colors these days with a boho rustic chic vibe and Target’s newest collaboration Hearth & Hand™ with Magnolia is to die for.

Here are some of my favorite finds.


Overall Dress

Pineapple Beach Towel

Floral Tumbler

Kids Cups with Straws

Gold Magazine Holder

Fruit Print Dip Bowls

Faux Snake Plant

Hello There Sign

Stripe Beach Towel

Tic Tac Toe

Kids Double Drums

USED AND ABUSED *baby product edition*

So you guys know, I have probably written about ten baby product blogs because there is so many different options out their and at each milestone in my kids life, they have needed different products. I had no idea what I was doing when I walked into Buy Buy Baby for the first time with my husband, trying to see what we liked for our first born, we walked out just nodding in pure shock at all the products available. We didn’t have a baby then so we had no idea. Now that I have had 2 babies, I am going to tell you all the products i’m obsessed with and ones that didn’t work for us.

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2019 Reflection

Woohoo happy 2020 everyone! Another decade down.

A lot has happened this year, the birth of my daughter in February, I got a part-time job-like for a moment, and my son turned two in July. Umm, some weird events of 2019 is that it snowed, like i’m talking over 5 inches of fresh powder on Halloween and was warm on Christmas, WHAT! We celebrated almost all of babies firsts and the biggest obstacle of 2019 was that I finally felt strong enough to admit to my family and I am now comfortable with sharing it here, that I am suffering from some pretty intense depression and anxiety.

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DIY Jughead Jones Toddler Costume

Alrighty mama’s, I have a guilty pleasure and its Riverdale. Im a huge fan of the show and you can catch me Wednesday nights watching shamelessly. Riverdale is on The CW Network and for those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s an adaptation of the classic Archie comics. Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse) is the story’s narrator and one of the main characters so I thought, why not make my little dude Jughead for Halloween!

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Starting solids-round II

Food is everything in this household. Well, maybe this is just true for me, but we recently started London on solids and…she loves it! Parker was the worst ever when it came to eating his first foods, but London, she absolutely loves it. Everything I have given her has been a winner. She’s had, strawberries, avocado, banana, sweet potato, applesauce, apple sweet potato, apple mango and apple carrot. We spoon feed her or let her go to town with her Moss and Fawn Forage feeder and there has been zero refusal.

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