Recently I have been really struggling a lot. My depression and anxiety cloud my days and sometimes I just want to lay in bed and veg out while I watch movies to relax my mind. We have a lot going on right now with the move, selling of our house and trying to navigate how to safety celebrate Christmas with our families. We are and have been taking Coronavirus very seriously, so moving during the pandemic and trying to safely celebrate the holiday is going to be a challenge. I am ready, but I am also scared.
So many variables come into play with our move. The thought that haunts me daily is; what happens if it all falls through? Then what? What if we fall ill? We have found our dream house about a month ago and put in a offer immediately after our showing. The sellers accepted and gosh did we feel so lucky. We still do! It’s a beautiful home and we hope to make the best of memories there. Our current house is sold, and we are thankful for that as well. We love our current house, but we are ready for a change. We wanted and are moving somewhere more rural, with more land. That was are big goal of ours and we made it happen.
I have been mentally preparing myself for a move for a while. Many chats with my therapist about it. We don’t have to move, we want too and right now interest rates are so low it’s a good financial investment. We originally wanted to move to either Colorado or Utah, but we decided to stay close to our families for the time being and since we found the perfect house, it was the best choice. When we moved to our current house in the Winter of 2016, it was stressful, but we were first time home buyers then, in love with our house (we still our) and just gitty to be starting the next chapter of our lives. This move, this move has been hard mentally. A few unexpected issues have come up and it’s hurting me mentally. I am very anxious, very upset, happy of course, but my depression and anxiety have taken it’s toll. I am burnt out.
I’m just here to say that hiding behind that piece of you will only make it worse, trust me. Nothing is ever as it seems. The internet if full of judgement, conspiracy and ‘fake news’. Most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Just like the world is trying to do with Covid-19, heal…I am too. Check up on your friends, life is freaking though and they might be hiding behind a smile too. It’s the painful truth. It’s reality. Life’s hard, there will always be some speed bumps, but the future is bright. I smile thinking about the memories we have here at our current house and the ones we will make at the new one. That is what is keeping it all together for me. The future.
Peace, love and happiness to all.